


New Discoveries

by morganaDW (morgana07)



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bottom Jared, Dealing with hangover Jared, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Limp Jared, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Jensen Ackles, RPS style, Schmoop, Season/Series 03, Top Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 18:42:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3988633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana07/pseuds/morganaDW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an unexpected phone call from an unlikely source sends Jensen flying back to Vancouver over the summer hiatus he finds a very upset, very drunk Jared...in his bed.</p><p>Jared's been fighting himself since the first season but to protect the show & his friendship he's buried his secrets. When his girlfriend leaves him & makes him see the truth, he's left confused and alone...until he wakes up hung over in Jensen's bed with the man himself right there.</p><p>Now both men make new discoveries that will turn their lives upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Language as always as well as the usual eventual explicit label this type of story can carry.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
> 
> Beta'd By: Cappy712.
> 
> Author Note: The muse is suffering brain freeze this past week and I was just trying to write something to kick it back into gear. That's where this one came from. Enjoy!

**New Discoveries**

**Chapter One**

“You’re sulking.”

“No, I’m not. If I was sulking I’d be in Texas with my parents and not here dealing with you two asses.”

“Yeah, but you’re only here with us because your Mom said don’t walk thru her door if you were sulking about the kid being engaged so that means you’re sulking Jen.”

“Don’t call me that and no, I am not. I’m happy that Jared’s happy with Sandy. Now shut the hell up or else that guitar might crash over your head Kane.”

The shorter than usual third season of Supernatural still had Jensen Ackles rattled because he knew due to the writers being on strike it had actually been changed from how to should’ve ended and he still had his doubts to how that would affect things next season.

Of course the finale they did end up with had been emotionally brutal not only on him but also on his co-star and best friend, Jared Padalecki, who much like the character he played often wore his heart on his sleeve.

From the first day in Eric Kripke’s office, Jensen had just felt an instant rapport with the 6’4” young man who’s shy dimpled smile and soft voice that just hinted at Texas at times brought out something in Jensen that he wasn’t used to feeling around anyone else but family.

It wasn’t an easy show to film given that no one really had given it much of a chance. In fact, his own agent had told him not to look for a season two and not to get too attached to anyone in Vancouver because he’d probably find him something else back in the US since even before he got the role of Dean Winchester on Supernatural, Jensen had been in Vancouver filming Smallville.

Jensen liked the role of Dean. He liked that Eric had given him the go ahead to make the character his own just like Jared had made Sam his own so he knew that in both characters there were bits and pieces of themselves. That was a good thing but also at times it was a bad thing, like with the last finale.

The actor understood they had to change to allow for the shortened season. He really did get it. He just didn’t like it so much because he and Jared had been on board for the ending that had been told to them in the start of the season so when the switch had to be made Jensen had caught the subtle little difference in Jared as they filmed.

Unlike Jensen who’d been modeling and acting most of his life, Jared was still relatively new to the scene so he was still unsure, still nervous, and still way too obsessed with getting everything perfect so he didn’t disappoint anyone.

Jensen had seen that in the first weeks of shooting when Jared would get upset if he blew a line or messed up a scene and it had to be reshot. At first Jensen had thought it was just something a lot of cocky young actors seemed to have these days but then when they had their first and actually only fight in the three years they’d been filming he realized that to Jared messing up was the worst thing possible.

It was that afternoon, after Jensen had gone to Jared’s trailer to settle things between them that something started to change in him. He began to relax more, to guide more without seeming bossy, and he found himself shielding Jared a lot more than he had.

They’d bonded quickly as co-stars which Jensen figured surprised a lot of people who knew him, including the two morons he was currently with, because he wasn’t a very open or relaxed person with a lot of people and he and Jared were very different people.

Where he was more reserved, quiet, and kept things close to the vest Jared was an open book of energy, emotion and opinions. Where Jensen liked to have things neat and orderly, Jared was like a kid hyped on candy who dropped things where he was at the time; something that made sharing a house in Vancouver really interesting the first few months after he offered his extra space to Jensen since it did make sense to share a place than for both of them to rent homes in the same city.

Now after three years, it seemed like they really had just meshed as co-stars, as best friends, almost brothers and…Jensen pulled his thoughts back from that murky slope since the one drawback to living and working with Jared Padalecki was Jared had yet to learn the meaning to personal space and while Jensen thought he was slowly adjusting to his roommates overly close presence and innocent habit of touching there was one bad reaction Jensen knew he had to keep hidden; especially now that Jared was engaged to Sandy and planning to be married.

“Dude! Whatever the hell you’re now brooding about just caused you to break the pencil!”

Instead of going home to visit his parents after the shortened season wrapped, Jensen had decided to take a couple friends up on their offer to visit them in Nashville for a week or two. He didn’t get to see Kane or Carlson as much since he was always filming so he thought he’d enjoy taking the break, playing music with his friends and forgetting the writer’s strike, forgetting the change in how the show might go now…and forgetting the sick lump he still had when he recalled Jared telling him he’d asked his girlfriend to marry him.

“I’m not brooding. I’m not sulking. I’m happy for him.” Jensen dropped the pencil to the floor while reaching for a guitar to lightly strum its strings but couldn’t get big hazel eyes, floppy hair and a bright dimpled smile, a smile that hadn’t looked as bright in the last few months, out of his head. “She’s not right for him.”

Jensen heard himself speak the words that he’d so far managed to keep to himself and blew out a breath while waiting for the teasing to come but the room remained silent as if his friends weren’t sure what to say.

“Which part of you thinks that?” Steve Carlson finally asked while giving a swift kick to Chris’s leg before he could offer an opinion. “The concerned surrogate big brother that’s part Dean and part you since Jared is younger or…”

“Or the side that wants to toss the kid on a bed and fuck him?” Chris put in while shifting before he could be kicked again. “What? We all know Jensen’s had a thing for the Padalecki kid right from the start so why sugar coat it?”

Jensen figured his eyes had probably just about popped out of his head at this unexpected reaction from his rough and gruff speaking friend. Aside from his parents, these two men were probably among the handful who knew that Jensen hadn’t been quite straight since his time on daytime TV but knowing and still saying what Chris just had still rocked him as he thought he’d been better at hiding his feelings for Jared.

“I do not look at him like that,” he tried to argue but couldn’t look either man in the eye when they both shot him incredulous looks at that forced lie.

“Jensen, from the first moment you…Dean slammed Sam against the bridge in the Pilot episode Chris and I’ve had a bet going to how long it would be before you caved and either told the kid or kissed him,” Steve was still glaring at a smirking Chris when they all heard Jensen’s phone go off. “You’re brooding and sulking now because he got engaged, you say she’s not right for him…”

“Jared’s young. Jared’s innocent and too damn naïve. He trusts too easily and Sandy just seems to try to push him more into the Hollywood scene and that set of people would eat him up and spit him out,” Jensen shot back firmly, refusing to acknowledge the other reason he might not be thrilled with the sudden engagement. “Jared’s not ready to be shoved into the fast lane or deal with the backstabbing vipers out there. He’s…shit, what the hell is this about?” he’d pulled his phone out to see who was calling him to see a very short text from a number he knew from seeing it pop up on his co-star’s phone.

Both Chris and Steve moved to look at Jensen’s phone to see the four words in the short and very direct text. ‘ _It’s over. He’s yours_.’

“Who sent that?” Steve asked though he suspected by the way Jensen’s jaw was clenching that he knew. “Sandy?”

Jensen gave a short nod while punching the number back in to make an actual phone call. “What the hell is that text supposed to mean?” he demanded once it was answered.

He’d always tried to be cordial and polite to his friend’s girlfriend but it wasn’t a secret that he and Sandy didn’t exactly like one another for some reason. Jensen knew he didn’t care for how she seemed to be pushing Jared or trying to make him into someone he wasn’t and he suspected the young actress didn’t care for him because Jared seemed to automatically look to him for advice or support before her.

“You read it. It means what it said,” she replied back in a tone that wasn’t angry exactly but just sad and accepting. “I let him off the hook and called off our engagement because while I always suspected it was finally hard to deny this weekend when despite being in Paris, the city of love, all he did was talk about you. Nearly every other word out of his mouth was either your name or something about you so I flat out asked him which one of us he loved more and when he couldn’t answer right away I gave him back the ring and told him to go home to who he wanted. I figured I’d text you in case you weren’t still in Vancouver since that’s where he booked a flight to.”

“Oh shit,” Chris muttered as he watched the initial surprise on Jensen’s rugged face slowly turn to anger at what was being said.

“You…” Jensen had to stop before he said what was searing his brain to get out as he pictured the scene that was just described and how his soft hearted friend might be reacting. “Jared loves you. Just because he’d still emotional over the finale…”

Sandy’s low laugh cut him off and also infuriated him more but before he could call the young woman what was on his tongue she spoke again. “He likes me as a friend but he loves you, Jensen. I thought at first it was just my imagination or how close you two seemed when filming or how you live practically on top of one another but when it wasn’t my name he said in his sleep after sex well…it’s kind of hard to deny who owns Jared’s heart don’t you think?”

“Jared’s straight,” Jensen could feel his chest tightening as something else began to coil in his belly, nerves that he hadn’t had in years as he also began to think of some things he’d noticed recently but had shrugged off in his own firm desire to not risk their friendship on something that could change their relationship drastically. “Jared is…”

“Jared is straight…except for you,” Sandy shot back and then sighed. “I don’t think he understands it, Jensen. He loves you but he’s scared to tell you or admit anything because he thinks you’re straight and would turn away from him if you knew he liked you as more than his co-star, more than his best friend. I love him but I can’t be with him when he so obviously only wants to be with you. I can’t cover for him like that. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I texted you but I thought with as confused as he was that you should know in case you wanted to go up and see him or something. Take care of him.”

The phone clicked off and Jensen was left stunned, furious, and also confused. He’d locked his own feelings for Jared down after the first season when it hit him that he was attracted to the younger actor in a way that was a lot more than friendship but since he didn’t want to lose Jared’s friendship or hurt the show Jensen had decided he’d keep his mouth shut.

He’d always thought, still thought, Jared was straight so if anything that Sandy was saying was true then he wasn’t sure how the hell he’d missed it. All he knew was he was pissed off at her for breaking it off like she had and for leaving Jared alone since he also knew how his friend could get when upset or confused.

“Damn it!” he practically tossed the guitar back to Steve while trying to do multiple things on his phone all at once and trying to not look like he was panicking when he was inwardly freaking out. “I’ve gotta go,” he told his friends while missing their grins or the money that was exchanging hands as he tried to book a flight from Nashville to Vancouver and also place a call to his friend who was not answering his damn phone.

“Chris can drive you to the airport so you can keep calling him,” Steve said since Chris had lost the coin toss between them to drive the clearly agitated actor to the airport. “What’re you planning once you get home?” he asked after Jensen had grabbed his luggage.

Jensen had no clue what he’d do or say once he got home to Vancouver. He’d play it by ear until he saw how Jared was and until he could get a better reading on if what Sandy had said might be true because to Jensen their friendship was still more important than possibly ruining it if the actress had misread Jared’s emotions right then.

“Right now I just want to get home. I just want to help him pick up the pieces of this mess and then maybe not ruin her career for breaking my best friend’s heart.” Jensen muttered.

He left over twenty voicemails as well as multiple texts between Nashville and landing in Vancouver. Jensen had been worried before but Jared lack of a response to either his calls or his texts now had him close to panicking. By the time the taxi he’d taken from the airport to the house they shared pulled up and he tossed the driver his fare plus tip Jensen had gone past panic into full out freak out mode because the house was all dark even though Sandy had said Jared had booked a flight back to Vancouver.

Jensen was trying to convince himself that maybe she’d been wrong or that maybe Jared had changed his mind and had gone home to his parents in Texas but as he used his key to unlock the front door and was met by an extremely agitated Harley, one of Jared’s dogs, the worry was back full force.

“Hey Harley, where’s your Daddy?” he knelt to let the big friendly dog lick his face and hands before standing to step into the living room to draw in a slow breath at what greeted him. “Huh. Okay, this should be fun.”

The moment Jensen caught sight of the empty bottle of whiskey as well as another empty space in the liquor cabinet they usually kept locked and only for show or parties he knew he hadn’t gotten back in time to stop the worst of Jared’s broken heart from taking him to a dark place.

Another thing Jared shared with his on screen character was the inability to handle hard liquor. He could drink a couple beers and get drunk but hard stuff like whiskey, run or vodka would put him on his ass faster than nearly anything else Jensen had seen in three years.

It had only happened once before they were roommates. A scene had taken a too real, too emotional turn for the younger man. It had taken a late night call from a drunk and nearly sobbing Jared for Jensen to realize the next time someone on the crew told him to just ‘let Jared work it through himself’ he was punching the asshole in the throat because it was not fun to sober Jared up then and he feared this time would be worse.

Jensen tossed his jacket over the sofa while turning on a couple lights so he could see to make his way through the house. He let Harley outside since that was where the dog instantly headed for and whistled for Sadie to come as well but when the other dog didn’t come but let out a bark from the top of the stairs Jensen swore under his breath and bolted up the steps to find her waiting for him and looking right at him expectantly.

“Where’s Jared, Sadie?” he asked and never even thought about feeling odd about talking to the dog like he would a human since both Harley and Sadie could often almost act human. “Show me where he is so I can try to make him feel better.”

The dog shot him a look that Jensen swore was almost a ‘you’d better’ look before running back down the steps to the door where Jensen’s room was on the first floor. She stopped at the closed door to hit it with her paw while whining and Jensen frowned a little before turning the knob.

He wasn’t sure why Sadie was at his door or what she wanted in his room but then he opened the door and got all of his answers as well as a punch to his gut in one fell swoop. “Jared.”

Jensen’s room was usually clean and orderly and he knew he’d left it that way when he’d packed to go to Nashville over the summer hiatus. Now as he stepped into the room while Sadie seemed content to wait outside he saw that it looked like a giant whirlwind had hit it and he guessed that might’ve been the case as his eyes landed on the 6’4” figure currently flopped face down in the middle of his bed surrounded by what Jensen was certain was every shirt he owned that he’d left in the dresser and closet.

Stepping around the half empty bottle of whiskey which put Jared at a bottle and a half of hard liquor in however long he’d been back in Canada, Jensen paused by the side of the bed to look down at his passed out friend with a shake of his head. “Damn it, Jay. What the hell’s going on and why didn’t you call me?” he asked the silent room before choosing to go deal with the dogs first so his full concentration could then be on Jared the rest of the night.

It took some doing, some nudging and outright bribing to get Sadie to go outside with Harley and while they did whatever dogs did outside Jensen tried to settle his nerves by telling himself the first thing he needed to do was focus on getting Jared sober, find out what had happened with Sandy, why he’d come back to Vancouver and why was he drunk in Jensen’s bed with all of his shirts on the bed with him. They’d broach the other possible topic once he got those answers.

He fed and watered the dogs, let them back in, looked in their refrigerator to decide he’d be calling out for food since neither were supposed to be there for a few months so they hadn’t restocked. It didn’t surprise Jensen that Jared’s first thought upon returning to Vancouver could be to get the dogs from the kennel he’d hesitantly put them in for his trip to Paris before he thought to buy food for himself even though the bag of dog food was new.

“I’m home. I’ll take care of him now,” he told the two dogs who were both looking at him before going to lay down as if knowing their owner would be safe with Jensen in the house. “I have this…I hope.”

Jensen stepped back into his room, shutting the door and began to pick up various things on the floor. His fingers touched the discarded engagement ring which made him wince as he placed it on his dresser until he saw what Jared wanted to do with it. He located a thankfully unopened bottle of vodka that he put out of reach and had just been starting to pick up some of the scattered t-shirts on the bed when his hand was slapped away with a mumbled complaint and the shirt in question was pulled closer to Jared’s chest as the young man flopped from his side where he’d rolled back to his stomach.

“Okay, so this should be fun,” Jensen muttered and quickly deduced he wasn’t getting his clothes back until Jared was awake because after the third time Jared unconsciously slapped his hand away to bring a soft black t-shirt up closer to his face and suddenly it clicked what his friend was doing. “Damn.”

During the filming of Season 1, during the Skin episode, Jared had been unusually upset after filming and Jensen would often catch him either fingering or holding onto whatever shirt he wore to set that day before changing into Dean’s clothes. It hadn’t dawned on Jensen then what was happening until he watched Jared slip the black t-shirt under his cheek while clutching the rest of it in his hand and mumbling something that was almost too soft for Jensen to hear but when he caught it on the second time he swallowed thickly.

“No, Jay. You haven’t messed anything up. I won’t hate you. I’m home with you now and we’ll talk once you wake up and…stop puking your guts out,” Jensen told him as he finished setting things up as best as he could for what he knew the morning would bring and then settled on the other side of his bed, sitting beside Jared so he was close enough to let his fingers card back through soft dark hair while trying to not let the tears he could see on a pale face bother him. “We’ll talk. I’ll get you through this and maybe face my own fears to tell you something I guess I should’ve a couple years ago. It’s going to be okay…I hope.”

\------

A loud throbbing between his ears, a heavy sick rolling in his stomach and a foul sour taste in his mouth all woke Jared Padalecki up from what he wasn’t sure was a nightmare or reality; either way he wished whatever it was would leave him alone or maybe swallow him up so he could avoid the giant mess he’d managed to make of his life as well as possibly his career if any of this every got back to…to… “J-Jensen…”

“Yeah, I’ve got you, Jay. Just relax. All that booze you drank on probably an empty stomach is now coming back up so don’t fight it or me and just let it come up. I promise it’ll make you feel a little better; a little not a lot but given the state of you and our house I’ll take a little for now.”

At first Jared was certain he was just dreaming when he heard his friend’s voice speaking in a low, gentle, soothing tone. He knew it wasn’t Jensen because Jensen wasn’t there and Jensen almost never spoke in that low of a tone unless he was calming Jared down or the time his younger sister had called upset over a break-up.

He was about to convince himself that he was actually hungover in his dreams when he felt strong fingers carding back thru his hair to get it out of his face and then a cold wet cloth was running over his face while Jensen’s voice kept telling him it would all be alright.

“No…no it’s not,” he managed to say between bouts of vomiting up stuff Jared was certain not even their prop masters could recreate on their best attempts. “Fucked…up.”

The fact that Jared was managing to curse while throwing up and shaking like a leaf before he finally slumped back against Jensen’s chest told the other man how upset Jared really was because Jared almost never used that word when he cussed unless really angry or drunk…or in this case an emotional mess who was hungover.

“No, you didn’t. It’s all going to be alright once you feel better and can talk to me about it,” Jensen figured right then Jared probably was still half asleep and not fully with it enough to know he was really there so he let him settle back against him, continuing to brush his hair back while wiping the rag over his face until he felt more of the tension easing away and was half way certain he wouldn’t be throwing up for at least a few minutes. “Can you try to eat some dry toast?” he asked. “We need to get something on your stomach to help you feel better and it’s toast or crackers.”

Jared didn’t think he could handle anything on his stomach but he did know the voice in his head, since to him right that moment was what it was, was correct. He needed something dry but he also needed something to take the foul taste in his mouth away.

He started to shift, to move as if to get up to find water when he suddenly felt the solid weight of an arm wrap around his shoulders to keep him where he was as a straw appeared in front of his blurry eyes and he saw it was in a bottle of clear soda. Jared heard the firm command to just sip it and did so gratefully before his head dropped back.

It was right around that time that something began to trickle into his pounding head that he might not be as alone as he’d thought. It was also then that Jared’s head cleared enough to see that this wasn’t his room and he recalled or thought he recalled drinking himself into a stupor while pulling all of his co-star’s shirts out of the dresser and closet to crawl into Jensen’s bed with them because he missed his friend and the last fight with Sandy had pounded it into his head just why he missed Jensen and also put fear into him of having to explain to the man why his engagement was off but figured he had months to work up a story for that…now he wasn’t so sure about that.

When the bottle of soda was moved back to the nightstand and the feel of fingers started going back through his hair again Jared felt a lump start to form in his throat as he moved shaky fingers up to touch the arm that was still around him to find it warm and solid…much like he’d feel when doing a scene that required Dean to catch or grab for Sam in some way because Jensen’s grip felt just like… “Jensen?” he wondered if his voice sounded as raw as he thought it dead.

“You back with me now, Jay?” Jensen asked and figured he was when he felt Jared start to tense but made no move to ease his grip; knowing the moment he did now that Jared suspected he was with him for real that the younger man would try to bolt and would fall on his face if he did that too soon. “Calm down. You’re not in trouble. I’m not angry. I will admit to being curious to why you were passed out in my bed with most of my shirts but I’m willing to wait for that explanation for when you’re feeling better. If I move my arm do you promise not to try to move too fast?”

Jared didn’t think with the way his head was throbbing that he could move too fast so he gave a nod and felt Jensen’s arm slowly relax to drop away but when the man made no move to shift Jared aside or move fully Jared stayed where he was for a moment longer.

“Why…why’re you back so soon?” he asked finally.

“I could ask you the same question.” Jensen replied but made sure to keep his voice light despite the worry he still felt given how long it had been before Jared had started to wake up and then how long he’d vomited before starting to come back to consciousness fully. “Though to avoid the obvious tap dancing around we both seem to be fond of doing at times…Sandy texted me and when I called her back to see what was wrong she kind of told me some stuff…Jared.”

This time when Jensen spoke it was with just a bit of Dean Winchester to his tone and it kept Jared still despite the sudden sick dread of what his now ex-fiancée might’ve told the man that it made him drop his own plans and fly back to Vancouver.

“What did…what did she say?” he really didn’t want to know or he did but knew given Sandy’s opinion of Jensen before their fight he just hoped the woman hadn’t said too much or insulted Jensen too badly given that right then Jared’s brains weren’t functioning enough to apologize for his own mistakes much less Sandy’s insults.

“That she’d tossed your ring back at you, the engagement was off and…you were mine,” Jensen heard the soft groan and this time let Jared go when he tried to move away: figuring they both needed some space for what might come next. “You want to tell me what happened or…anything?”

Jared moved to the edge of the bed but made no attempt to actually stand. He let his feet touch the soft carpet and closed his eyes when the room spun which had his stomach twisting dangerously again while feeling the bed shift as Jensen easily rolled off the other side to move around sit near him as if in case he had to grab for the trashcan again.

This was not how Jared ever wanted Jensen to learn of anything about his problems with Sandy much less the secrets he’d been burying since season two. He’d much rather lie to his best friend than tell him the truth and risk seeing the shocked disgust staring back at him or watching as Jensen gathered his belongings and left the house right that moment or…he blinked when fingers snapped in front of his face when Jensen tried to get his attention back.

“Okay, you’ve already scared about 10 years off my life since I got back here and you nearly hyperventilating just now probably took another five so how about you lay back on the bed, keep your eyes closed until the room stops spinning like I figure its doing and tell me just what the hell have I missed going on around me?” Jensen had seen Jared’s already pale face go an almost sickly white a second before his chest began to heave as he struggled to catch his breath and three years with this young man had taught him the warning signs of a huge panic attack so he was quick to head it off.

“Jay! Look at me!” he snapped in a tone that Jensen only used when needing Jared’s attention and knowing that one guaranteed him his co-star’s undivided attention. “Look at my eyes, take a couple slow breaths and calm down. I need you to calm down for me. You’re not in trouble for whatever happened.”

“Yeah, once I tell you what she meant by that I’m yours comment I will be,” Jared nearly lost control of a broken sob. He didn’t want to lose his best friend like this but he knew Jensen wasn’t the type of guy to let something go and he knew between Sandy’s call and how he’d found him, not to mention where, that he’d have to answer him.

He wanted to move, to put space between them since his head was hurting already without the pain of a fist to his face adding to it if he happened to admit to Jensen that he thought he was attracted to him in a way that crossed way to many lines.

Jared had been battling these feelings, the urges to tell Jensen since the middle of their first season but he knew the older actor was straight. He’d only seen Jensen out with girls so that was a clue right there to Jared that his co-star was as straight as the sun was hot. Hell, Jared was still pretty certain he was straight since he’d never had these feelings for any other man but Jensen so he figured he could bury them, hide them and never let Jensen know he was looking at him as something other than his co-star, his roommate and best friend.

When Sandy came into the picture, Jared was thrilled because he thought having a regular girlfriend would be what it took to snap his attention off of Jensen and back to normal guy/girl sex. Except he’d quickly learned that it didn’t work because even though he dated Sandy, even though he said he loved her and they had good sex…there was just something still missing for Jared but he could never admit it to Jensen without risk of losing their friendship much less let the show suffer.

He knew Sandy and Jensen weren’t exactly each other’s greatest fans and never could figure out why until the last fight in Paris had happened and she’d basically thrown it in his face that she knew he was in love with Jensen and should just go home and be with him.

That was when things had gotten nasty between them because while Jared could take the fighting, or her subtle pushing him into places, parties, and situations he hadn’t been comfortable in he refused to let her insult or call Jensen the names that she had all because he couldn’t answer right away which one of them he loved more.

It wasn’t until she asked him that question that Jared began to fully question just how far in love he had fallen with a man he could never tell. He’d taken his ring, booked a flight home to Vancouver, got his dogs out of the kennel and then proceeded to get shit-faced drunk while surrounding himself with items that still reminded him of his best friend.

Waking up hungover in Jensen’s bed with the man himself right there and way too calm was throwing him off since he wasn’t sure what else Jensen might know or suspect. He fell backwards on the bed with a groan and covered his face with his hands to try to make all of this go away but knew when he felt Jensen touch his arm that he would either have to lie, which he sucked at, or tell the truth and pray he could fix the damage before they had to start filming again.

“Are you okay with the breakup?” Jensen asked despite all of the other questions he could’ve or he figured Jared might be waiting for him to ask. “I…I thought you guys were happy.”

There was just a slight change in tone there that made Jared peek through his fingers to catch what he thought might’ve been an eye roll on the last word. “I tried to make her happy but…I guess I haven’t been for a while,” he admitted slowly. “I don’t want you to hate me, Jen.”

Jared was the only person that Jensen allowed to shorten his name and not growl at them for it. The nicknames were something that was just between them it seemed as he’d seen and heard Jared correct people who called him ‘Jay’ since that was what Jensen called him.

When Jensen heard it now and heard how sad and scared Jared sounded at the thought that he might hate him for something it made Jensen feel bad for not revealing his own secret to the younger man before he’d gotten in too deep with the actress. If he had then maybe Jared wouldn’t have gotten his tender heart hurt and he wouldn’t be terrified of losing his best friend too.

“Okay, right now I’m going to flat out say that nothing that you say to me will make me hate you,” Jensen began while working to pry Jared’s hands away from his face to brush away the fresh tears he saw on his cheeks. “I have stuff to say to you that I think I should say before you tell me anything more but…I want you to try to go take a shower first and then I’ll make some breakfast since we do still have bread and jelly in this place so we can both do this on a full stomach. Okay? Can you handle a shower?” he asked while seeing that Jared was avoiding his eyes when he did nod.

“Yeah, just give me about 10 minutes to find the steps,” Jared said while trying to push back up only to gasp when his hand was taken in a firm grasp to help pull him up to shaky, unsteady legs. “Whoa!” he had to reach out to grab a solid shoulder to balance himself until he was steady and he was sure his stomach was staying in one place. “Thanks…I’ll clean up in here once I…huh?” he blinked when he was aimed toward the attached bathroom in Jensen’s room.

“I’m not worried about the room or the clothes. I’m worried about you,” Jensen had no intention of allowing Jared to go upstairs until he was steadier on his feet. “Use my shower and I’ll grab you some clean clothes from upstairs. The last thing either of us need or want is to explain to Eric or your mother why I let you climb the steps with a hangover…or why you were hungover to begin with. Take your time and I’ll leave the clean stuff on the dresser by the bathroom door,” he said after he got Jared moving toward the bathroom and finally heard the shower turn on.

Jensen made a fast run upstairs to grab clean items out of Jared’s dresser since he knew the clothes in the still unpacked back in the living room wouldn’t have clothes his friend would want to wear around the house and once again was glad that living together for so long had given him a better sense of Jared’s likes and dislikes.

That was another reason Jensen had said Sandy wasn’t good for Jared since he’d caught her trying to change his wardrobe into something more sophisticated and when Jared was in the house or not filming he likes old jeans and sweatshirts or t-shirts. That was what he grabbed now as well as clean underwear and socks.

Taking them back to his room, he paused by the slightly cracked door to ask if Jared was okay before heading for the kitchen only after he heard a mumbled affirmative. Jensen let the two dogs out and had toast in the toaster while digging for a pack of bacon that he thought was still edible to fry up while putting coffee on.

By the time he had toast buttered, the coffee poured and the bacon fried he heard a soft step from behind him and silently prayed he didn’t mess this up any more than he had by not telling Jared the truth much earlier.

“Sit down and try to eat a little something so hopefully you can keep it down,” he said while turning to see that Jared still looked pale and haggard from took much hard liquor, too much emotional baggage and too little real sleep but Jensen was glad to see that he didn’t look quite as shaky as he had earlier when he slowly took a seat at the their small kitchen table. “And feed you and not the dogs.”

Jared’s lips curved a little more since he knew Jensen had caught him sneaking the dogs’ bacon on other times. He took his time to pet Harley and Sadie when they came in from outside before starting to pick at a piece of toast when a strip of bacon was held out.

“I’m sorry you had to cut your trip short to come back here and pick up the pieces of my life,” he said after a long moment of silence in the kitchen. Jared kept his eyes on his plate and off of Jensen, not wanting to see the disappointment that might be there over his inability to handle either a breakup or some booze. “She shouldn’t have called you.”

“No, she shouldn’t have,” Jensen agreed and took a sip of coffee before placing the mug down to reach over to lay his hand over a nervously tapping hand. “You should’ve,” he said quietly but firmly and saw Jared’s eyes lift to meet his in surprise. “You should’ve called me the second it happened. You should’ve called me when you decided to come home to an empty house, no offense Harley and Sadie, and you damn well should’ve called me before you decided to drink like that because you know you can’t handle the hard stuff.

“I’m more than your co-star or roommate, Jared. I’m your best friend and if you would’ve called me I could’ve been here sooner for you. I _would_ have been sooner for you. So…why didn’t you call me, Jay?” he asked while knowing the answer even before he saw Jared start to chew his bottom lip like he did when uneasy or nervous. “Was it for whatever you think I’ll hate you over?”

Jared felt his still queasy stomach start to pitch again as he didn’t want to do this. He wanted to avoid answering Jensen’s questions or telling him the real reason Sandy had broken up with him or the meaning behind her comment to him but he was still so scared despite Jensen’s earlier promise to not hate him that the man would when he realized what he’d been hiding from him.

“I’m going to tell you something that I probably should’ve a year or three ago,” Jensen eased off of his chair to come around the table so he could kneel beside Jared; easily balancing himself as Harley bumped into him to get an extra pat before flopping back down. “This is something that other than my parents, only a few other people know about me and…I didn’t tell you because I was afraid it might ruin our friendship or hurt the show if you found it out.”

Jared stopped eating to turn just enough in his chair to see Jensen’s eyes were calm but with just a hint of nervousness; something that he’d very rarely ever seen Jensen be. “What?” he asked, confused by how serious Jensen looked and sounded but then had to swallow quickly when Jensen put his hands on Jared’s knees and just that simple touch had something tightening in his chest. “Jen?”

“I know you, the crew, probably everyone who knows me but a handful of close friends think I’m straight and for the most part I guess I am but…” Jensen paused to take a deep breath as this still wasn’t the easiest thing for him to admit since much like his character he wasn’t always open with sharing his inner most thoughts or feelings. “Technically I haven’t been straight since Days. I have dated guys before I got the gig on Smallville but due to pressure from my management team I’ve been trying to stick with only being seen with women and frankly I haven’t found a guy I was interested in…until about three years ago.”

“Huh?” Jared hadn’t been sure what Jensen was saying at first. Then as it began to click into place he was fairly certain he was still sleeping because there was no way in hell that Jensen Ackles was there, kneeling on the floor of their kitchen with his hands on Jared’s knees basically saying that he might not be as straight as Jared had always thought he was. Or that he might be saying that he…Jared stopped that line of thought before it went too far. “You…your…but…”

Jared swallowed thickly and tried to keep breathing normally even though his thought his heart was probably pounding through his t-shirt by that point. “Sandy told you why we broke up,” he knew that was it even if it hurt to think it. “Please, don’t make fun of…huh?”

Jensen’s agility was something that never failed to impress the crew of their show or Jared so when he easily pushed to his feet and pulled Jared up with him it took a couple seconds for Jared’s still hazy mind to catch up enough to see a flash of heat in dark green eyes or how he was suddenly boxed in against the kitchen counter; Jensen’s hands on either side of his hips.

“Yes, she told me and yes, she probably told me things that she should’ve left up to you to say but what I’m saying to you has nothing to do with making fun or mocking your feelings, Jared,” Jensen said in a tone that was deep and husky. “I’m telling you that I’m not as straight as you might think I am so when I tell you this next part I hope you don’t pass out or freak out,” he moved one hand up from the counter to lightly touch Jared’s face, feeling nervous hands instinctively reach out to touch his waist while holding wide eyes for what Jensen prayed wasn’t a mistake.

“I’m telling you this now not only to hopefully reassure you that anything you say to me after this won’t make me hate you but because I realize now that if I hadn’t been so worried about you thinking less of me and I had been honest with you three years ago that we might not be in this mess now,” Jensen let the pad of his thumb run over Jared’s cheek to smile as he saw Jared’s eyes change just slightly. “Living with you, being so close like we’ve gotten has killed me because I’ve tried to just be your friend, your co-star and when you said you were engaged to her I nearly did this then but I tried to tell myself even though I didn’t think Sandy was right for you, I had to keep my mouth shut about how I felt.”

“F-felt?” Jared repeated, barely able to find his voice much less get it to come out as Jensen leaned closer until their chests were touched and he realized that his co-star’s plush looking lips, lips that he’d heard the women on set all talking about, were nearly close enough that he could feel Jensen’s breath against his. “What…who?”

Jensen smiled at the whispered words. He didn’t want to push this but it was so hard to resist the temptation to take Jared’s bottom lip into his own mouth like he’d often dreamed of doing but he managed to resist that urge and just let this lips ghost up Jared’s cheek to whisper against his ear. “I fell for you before we reached the middle of the first season, Jared. By the second I was already madly in love with you and…I probably wouldn’t have lasted through this summer without telling you because there was no way in hell I was letting you marry that woman.”

That last admission hadn’t been meant to come out quite yet but Jensen didn’t regret saying it when he saw first surprise and then a small smile curving up finally on Jared’s lips as he looked back at him. “You really didn’t like her, did you, Jen?” Jared asked while trying to quickly process what he thought was happening and also get up the courage to respond like he wanted to.

“Nope, never did,” Jensen saw no reason to lie now. “I’m pretty picky on people I give my heart to because I know how it hurts to be hurt. I also know not to trust this secret with just anyone. I wish I had told you sooner, Jay but I wasn’t sure how you felt about me. I’m still not since I’m the one doing all the talking here.”

“Huh? Oh!” Jared blinked and realized he’d been doing a lot of talking but inside his own brain as he tried to find the perfect way to say what he felt. He still couldn’t believe this was real or happening and he still thought he’d probably wake up alone in his bed after one vivid dream but he’d take that chance as his fingers moved to spread out more on Jensen’s waist and took a chance.

“I’m not sure what I am,” he admitted and went on quickly as an eyebrow lifted curiously. “You’re the only guy I’ve ever really wanted to…kiss or…to kiss me.” Jared knew his cheeks were probably beet red from admitting that but when he went to drop his face a firm but gentle hand caught it so his eyes were locked on brilliant green ones.

Jensen loved the shyness that Jared still had and understood how new all of this was for him as well as probably a little frightening since admitting to a guy that he might like him was a lot different at times than telling a girl. He could vividly recall how nervous he’d been the first time he’d admitted that to another man. Jensen also vividly recalled how easy it was to hurt and be hurt by someone who didn’t really care and he didn’t plan to ever let Jared know those feelings like he had.

“You want me to kiss you?” he asked since he hadn’t been expecting Jared to want that yet even though Jensen had spent three years imagining what it would be like since the first time he got up close to Jared on a scene on a bridge in the Pilot. “Now?”

Jared still wondered when he was going to wake up because this just could not be real but he slowly nodded. He had no damn idea what he was doing or saying but he suddenly had to feel Jensen’s lips on his and would just pray he wasn’t too bad at it and disappoint his friend before they even did anything. “Yes,” he whispered while suddenly very glad he’d used the toothbrush Jensen had laid out with his clothes to brush his teeth. “Will you kiss me, Jen?”

“God, yes,” Jensen groaned and proceeded to do just that.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**New Discoveries**

**Chapter Two**

Jared Padalecki wasn’t quite sure what to expect as Jensen’s hands caught his face a moment before their lips touched.

He’d hadn’t been kissed by a guy before or else not one he counted since he didn’t count a sloppy drunk kiss at some party when he’d been 16. Jared had watched porn before so he basically knew what to expect or how it should happen.

The moment Jensen’s lips touched his however Jared quickly became aware that the porn he’d watched was nothing like real life or at least being kissed by Jensen Ackles sure wasn’t like the simple little kisses he’d seen on the screen.

A piece of Jared sort of expected rough, hard, hot but what he got was something totally different, totally unexpected and totally mind blowing so it took him a second for his already shocked brain to catch up and return the slow, soft, gentle kiss.

Jensen’s original plan when he first reached for Jared was to keep their first kiss quick and simple until he could gauge his friend’s reactions. He knew Jared probably had no idea what to do or what might happen so he didn’t want to go too fast. However the moment he touched Jared’s face before leaning up to let their lips brush he knew his plan was changing because he wanted the younger man’s first kiss with him to be something special, something that Jared deserved.

Three years of dreaming and wondering what kissing his co-star would be like didn’t disappoint as the moment Jensen let his lips lightly brush over Jared’s he had to fight back his body’s sudden desire for more but he kept the kiss light and slow; deepening it only when he heard a soft sound from Jared when his friend hesitantly, shyly even began to return the kiss.

Keeping one hand where it was on Jared’s face, Jensen slid his other around to gently curve around the back of Jared’s neck even as he felt Jared’s fingers gripping the belt loops of his jeans as if unsure what to do with his hands or how to proceed as Jensen finally broke the kiss to ease back and take in the well kissed plush lips and slightly dazed hazed eyes to quirk his lips up. “Okay?” he asked and held his breath. “Jared? Are you okay?”

Jared blinked and heard Jensen’s concern when he repeated the question as fingertips lightly touched his cheek until he could finally get his voice back to speak. “Whoa,” he whispered and then felt his cheeks heat under Jensen’s intense stare. “I guess all the females on set who I’d overhear in the lunch tent or the makeup trailer gossiping over how you kissed or how your lips felt and stuff were right,” he lifted his eyes with a shy smile. “Your lips are to die for…and I think I’ll just go through the floor now.” he suddenly groaned when he heard what he said and saw Jensen’s surprise a moment before his smile turned just a little more sinful

“Really? And should I ask how long you’ve been eavesdropping on those conversations about my lips or…should I just kiss you again?” Jensen asked in a voice that was low, husky and made Jared’s body tingle in a way that was definitely new for him.

“Yeah, that last one sounds good,” Jared replied quickly and heard Jensen laugh in a way that he knew was real and honest; that was the laugh that Jared loved to hear because it was the one that Jensen didn’t always give. “If I didn’t do too badly on the last one, that is.”

The honest worry he heard reminded Jensen that while he might have more experience in some areas, Jared would be uneasy and especially since he was still battling a hangover, a breakup, and a sudden shock would need a lot of reassurance. Jensen knew he could give his friend that and more.

“You kissed me just fine, Jay,” he told him and started to ease Jared into his arms and away from the counter. “How do you feel right now?” he asked curiously. “Still feeling sick? Head spinning? Any hangover side effects I should be aware of?”

Jared went with the pull to go into Jensen’s arms, letting his own ease around Jensen’s waist but had to focus on the questions at the feel of hot lips sliding down his jaw. “Uhhh…what hangover?” was all he could think to say since right at that moment he couldn’t feel anything but Jensen’s body pressed against his in the middle of their kitchen and way too many porn images came to mind suddenly.

Jensen laughed and kissed him again; still without heat but the depth of emotion in his kisses was still enough to make Jared’s blood heat which confused him and made him tense pausing his friend with a slight touch to his shoulder.

“I...love you too,” Jared said before he could talk himself out of it in fear that he was still dreaming or something. “I’ve loved you probably since that first season but for sure by our second and I’m so sorry I was too scared to say anything or that dating Sandy might’ve hurt you or…I…I haven’t watched nearly enough porn to know what to do or what to say right now, Jensen. Please shut me up?”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Jensen chuckled while sliding his fingers back up to cup Jared’s neck, bringing him back in for a soft kiss that did nothing but confuse the younger actor more. “I think we better talk about the kind of porn you have watched and who you watched it with,” he added in between kisses while giving a mental coin toss to which direction would be best before deciding the sofa would be the best choice for the moment. “Is that what you were expecting when I kissed you, Jay?” he asked with a smile while managing to get them out of the kitchen and into the living room without either of them falling or tripping over the dogs. “Hard? Fast? Is that what you want?”

Jared groaned or thought he did when he suddenly found himself sitting on the sofa with his hands going back to Jensen’s hips when he lowered himself down to straddle his lap. Jared was positive if he wasn’t so terrified of screwing this up by saying or doing something totally stupid or wrong that he would’ve been trying a couple of those things he’d seen on one of those videos.

Feeling Jensen’s hands land on his shoulders to push him against the back and feeling them tighten just enough that it made him wince, he was reminded that his best friend had a lot more strength than he thought most people who took in Jensen’s trim athletic build believed. “I…” he was still unsure what to say.

Jared’s head wasn’t as fuzzy as it had been when he woke up and he didn’t feel as queasy or sick like he had earlier either but what was happening with Jensen was still a shock. He’d been hurt before but by girls. He’d learned early on when he got into acting that some girls just liked the fame that came from dating an actor.

Of course he knew Jensen wasn’t like that and he knew Jensen wasn’t lying to him because when Jensen lied to people he sounded different and tended to put one of his hands into his pockets to jangle his change and he hadn’t done that. This was all so new and confusing that Jared was afraid to risk saying too much or possibly saying the wrong thing so he was going to keep his mouth shut until something made him look up and swallowed thickly.

Jensen’s green eyes were deeper, darker, more intense and something told the younger man that his friend could easily go rough, fast and hard like he’d seen on some of the porn he’d watched last winter break while trying to decide if he thought he was gay or just in love with his co-star.

“Tell me what you want, Jared.” Jensen’s tone was different as well. It was deeper with a bit more of his natural Texas drawl. “Tell me.”

“I don’t want to be hurt.” Jared wasn’t sure where that had come from but the moment he spoke he saw Jensen’s lips curve and his grip eased a little. “I’m…” he stopped when lips touched his.

“That’s what I wanted to hear.” Jensen replied while smoothing his hands over his shoulders slowly, carefully. “Jay, I know you don’t know what to do so you’re going to be scared or confused…especially if your only experience is watching gay porn because…what we’ll do won’t be like what you watched or not all of it but the rough stuff? Yeah, no. I won’t do that with you,” he said firmly.

Jared let his head rest back against the sofa as Jensen’s mouth began to trace a line down from his ear to the line of his jaw and then down his throat. “H-have you ever?” he asked while kicking himself for asking too many stupid questions. “Did that rough kind of stuff?” he clarified when he merely got a questioning hum while Jensen was now busy gently sucking on the hollow of his throat until he suddenly went still. “Jensen?”

“Yeah, once or twice…when I was younger,” Jensen admitted but the tone said it was not something he was comfortable talking about so Jared knew to let it go. “And because I did it, because I know how it can go and what it can lead to that’s why I _won’t_ do it with you,” he lifted his head enough to see confusion on Jared’s face which he sought to erase by this time deepening the kiss a little more than he had.

“Trust me, Jay. Sex, real sex, when it’s between two people who love each other like I love you doesn’t need cuffs and other stuff to be hot. I promise to make it good for you when you’re ready to go that far with me,” he promised while letting his tongue just very lightly run over Jared’s lips as if teasing before being surprised to feel his co-star hesitate a moment before his lips parted in open invitation.

Jensen recalled being young, naïve and way too trusting much like Jared. The only difference between them is Jensen knew he’d also been way to cocky and thought he could handle himself in any situation. He’d been wrong and learned that the hard way. Now as he saw the trust looking back at him from deep hazel eyes flecked with golds and blues he swore to himself to never let Jared down like he’d been.

He knew it would have been so easy to go too far too fast given Jared was going by porn and probably bad porn at that so Jensen made a conscious effort to slow down. He let his tongue slip in past Jared’s to lightly tease, explore but never going too far until he felt the first hesitant response and then softly encouraged Jared by deepening the kiss just a little more.

Jensen had heard the rumors on set that the girls who’d guest-starred or their make-up ladies liked to gossip about his time on Days or the couple movies he’d never live down but shrugged it off with a simple smile or a roll of his eyes. The truth was he knew how to kiss and thought he did it quite well so he knew exactly how to kiss Jared to please him, to show him how to kiss back without seeming controlling since he wanted Jared to learn these things on his own so he’d be more comfortable with himself and with him.

He kept it soft and only let it heat slowly while also keeping an eye on Jared’s face during the kiss to make sure he was okay. Jensen loved the look he saw there as Jared became more comfortable with kissing him; comfortable enough that he moved his one hand up from Jensen’s waist to touch his chest through the t-shirt.

“You can touch me, Jay,” he told him between kisses while letting his own hands start to explore as well. “Don’t be afraid to touch me or tell me what you want or don’t want.”

Jared’s brain was losing its ability to function right then between the heating kisses to the way Jensen was showing him how to respond to his touches, to the playful teasing of his tongue in Jared’s mouth to now the way skilled hands had slowly found their way under his t-shirt it was all becoming almost too much to handle at once. So the thought of trying to have a conversation during this was nearly out of the question for the younger man.

“I…oh my God…I just want you,” he managed to get out even as he felt his hips suddenly arch up against Jensen and blinked as what he felt registered and it was all he could do not to come in his pants like a teenager. “Jensen…”

Jensen chuckled and kissed Jared again before pulling back so he could ease off him before he did let things go too far and if they did go farther than making out right then Jensen wanted it to be on a bed and not the damn sofa like a pair of kids.

“How far do you want this to go right now, Jared?” he asked and held out a hand while continuing so his friend understood they didn’t have to do anything more than kiss and get to know one another as more than co-stars. “I’ll be perfectly honest and tell you that I want you but then I’ve wanted you on my bed, your bed or any soft piece of furniture since the first time Dean had his hands on Sam so me trying to slow this down has nothing to do with not wanting you. I want to give you time to adjust, to decide how much you want or how far you want to go right now because we have plenty of time to go further. It doesn’t have to be right now.”

Jared had to fight not to shoot his friend one of Sam’s better bitch faces when he stood up because he was just getting used to the feel of Jensen’s hardening cock pressing against his as he’d straddled him on the sofa. Now though he was trying to understand that Jensen wasn’t saying they couldn’t go farther; just that he was offering Jared choices even if he wasn’t sure how to make them yet.

“Are you saying we’ll have other times?” he asked hesitantly before accepting the hand and let himself be pulled up to feel his head spin a little more than he liked, remembering he wasn’t exactly at his best right then. “This won’t be a onetime thing or anything?”

Jensen let his fingers mesh with Jared’s once he had him on his feet, steadying him when he felt him sway a little too much for his comfort and saw a slight cringe of pain as if his head was starting to hurt. He pulled him closer to smile as this time Jared’s arms returned the embrace more certainly like he wasn’t so hesitant of Jensen’s affection or reactions.

“Jared, if you’re serious about this…if you’re sure this is what you want…that I’m who you want then yeah, I can promise you that this is more than a onetime deal,” he responded while allowing his fingers to brush over a wrinkle on Jared’s forehead until it smoothed out. “I wouldn’t have told you that I loved you or how I felt for you if I didn’t plan for this to be more than a onetime thing or just a summer fling before we go back to set. I wouldn’t be trying so damn hard to resist the urge to take you back into either my bed or your bed right now because I want you to have a better idea of things than just what you’ve seen on some bad porn.”

Jared wondered if it was still the remaining effects of all the booze he’d drank that made him feel flushed at those words or the way Jensen was touching him as he found himself leaning more into his friend while realizing the annoying pain in his head was fading away with each touch of Jensen’s fingers over his forehead.

“It wasn’t all bad,” he tried to defend his viewing selections but then shrugged when Jensen merely lifted a curious eyebrow. “Fine, it probably was but I couldn’t very well call Mom and ask to borrow all her taped episodes of Days now could I? And it probably wouldn’t take much to talk me back into a bed right now…if I could get you in it with me.”

Jensen knew his best intentions were getting weaker with every touch by Jared now and by how the younger man just seemed to naturally fit against him despite the slight difference in height. Then of course Jared’s innocent comments weren’t helping the desire to push for more. “Your Mom has my time on Days taped?” he blinked at that.

“She actually has most of the show recorded in some way and…if you swear to not hold it over me or gloat I’ll tell you that I…might’ve actually sat down with her a couple times back then to watch it cause I…oh God…thought you were hot and I really hated Nicole.” Jared knew he blushed when he admitted that and just gave in and buried his face against Jensen’s neck to try to hide it when this time Jensen’s eyes popped open wide a second before his smile turned sinful.

“Damn, if I’d known that we so would’ve already been doing this,” Jensen muttered but then laughed as he nudged until he could get Jared to look at him. “Anything else you’d like to confess before I flip a coin to see which bed we end up in if you make that choice?” he asked teasingly because he loved when Jared got that shy frustrated smile on his face.

“Your bed since I don’t think I want to try to climb the steps yet and…I might’ve put that one scene in that one movie on repeat for about an hour after I first met you and googled what else you’d acted in.” Jared decided since he’d already embarrassed himself that he might as well go all out, lifting his eyes to look at Jensen and was hit by the depth of emotion looking back at him. “I-I want to do more with you but…is it bad to say I that I don’t more than what I’ve seen and still don’t know how…ummm…God, I need a book or something,” he groaned and tried to pull away out of frustration only to feel Jensen hold him tighter while catching his mouth in a hot kiss that soon had his gasping and aching for something more. “Jen…”

“You don’t need a book. I’ll show you and help you along with whatever it is we might end up doing,” Jensen gave a teasing nip to Jared’s bottom lip before drawing it gently into his mouth to suck on it and loved the sound that got him. “We’ll only do as much as you want or feel comfortable doing and then tomorrow we’ll sit down and talk about any questions you might have about anything. Right now…do you trust me to take care of you, Jay?”

Jared cocked his head to stare at his friend. “I’ve done that since the first season and they had you tie me up that time,” he replied simply and then let himself be pulled back into Jensen’s arms to meet the next kiss fully, feeling this one heat just a bit more as if Jensen had been waiting for him to get used to kissing him before taking the heat and pressure up a notch. “I hated being tied but knew you wouldn’t hurt me or let me be hurt during the scene. Trusting you now, with this…of course I do.”

Jensen bit back a moan of his own at hearing that as he tried to get them from the living room to his bedroom without tripping over dogs or anything scattered from Jared’s early arrival back home where he’d just left stuff where it fell in his upset state. “I hated that scene, actually I hated that whole episode, but won’t deny it gave me both nightmares and another kind of dream for months after we did it,” he admitted between kisses and was never so glad when he finally got them to where they were going. “I also think I growled at more people on set that time than I have during nearly any other episode except recently when I did not like that creepy doctor’s set or that you did your own stunts for it.”

They often did their own stunts much to their producer’s dismay but on times when he knew Jared would be doing his own and knew the scene was a hard one he tried to be on set as well. The last few episodes of their shortened season was like that and Jensen vowed next season he was punching the first writer who decided Jared and or Sam needed tied up or down in any way since those scenes were ones he hated the most because he knew Jared wasn’t always comfortable despite pretending he was.

“And there’s another reason I will never play those games with you,” Jensen murmured against his lips before giving the door a kick with his boot and then had Jared’s back against it to let his mouth find the pulse point in his throat to begin to suck it slowly. “Tell me what you want right now, Jay.”

Jared’s hands were torn between getting brave enough to actually touch Jensen and staying where he had them on the man’s hips while shivering under Jensen’s touch when he felt his one hand skim up under his t-shirt to slide up his chest. “Anything. Everything. You!” he gasped at the feel of teeth raking over his throat and his head hit the door before he was pulled away from it and was laughing by the time they landed on the bed with Jensen levering himself over him.

“You are way too easy to please and you’ve got me.” Jensen told him before kissing him again, deeply this time and their tongues played more until finally he pulled back to sit up, straddling Jared’s long legs while watching him try to get his hair out of his face to look back. “Trust me?”

“Love you,” Jared said in a simple and plain answer that managed to rock Jensen’s heart as well as another part of him in a way that he hadn’t felt before.

“Okay then,” Jensen’s smile was just a hint wicked as he reached to pull his t-shirt off over his head. He heard the sharp inhale of breath as well as a soft oath as the shirt dropped and he let his hands wander up to skim under Jared’s shirt to slide up his chest. “Tell me if anything becomes too much.”

It had been a long time since Jensen had been with someone, either male or female, so he was already on edge from just what he and Jared had been doing. As he helped Jared peel off his t-shirt, Jensen had to bite back his own oath while watching tanned and tone body appear as the shirt was pulled off and tossed to the side to join his.

They’d shared a house now for three years. He’d seen Jared plenty without a shirt both on and off set so Jensen knew what to expect. He knew this was not the same young man that had started to film with him back in season one because it amazed Jensen to think that Jared was literally growing up more and more with each season they did and he adored not only watching that transformation from shy and unsure actor to someone who would and was growing more and more confident with not only himself but in his character as well.

Right then Jensen was too busy paying attention to the start of well-toned muscle that he’d somehow missed Jared getting this season to let himself think on more than a quick reminder to go slow.

Jensen didn’t mind topping because it was the position he preferred but it had been a long time since he’d been with someone who had no idea what to do or what to expect. Most if not all of Jensen’s sexual partners were experienced so this would be a little different for him since he already knew and accepted he couldn’t rush through this with Jared.

He saw that Jared’s eyes were wide but also darkening. He sensed his nervousness and guessed the fear was buried for the moment because Jensen had caught little bits of it coming out in the way Jared chewed his lip or how his fingers dug into the covers on his bed as if afraid to touch him or move too much.

“I love you, Jared.” Jensen murmured before leaning closer to soften the kiss before he began to place kisses along his friend’s face, down his cheek until he got to his jaw where he let his teeth rake gently over the hard line there and heard the start of a moan before he was cut off. “Uh-huh,” he looked back up with a smile. “I want to hear you. I want to hear every sound you make so don’t be afraid to make noise because I promise you that you will be making noise by the time I’m done prepping you for this.”

Jared hadn’t been sure of the proper etiquette for what was basically gay sex. “Prep me for what?” he blushed as he asked since Jared thought he might know but he hadn’t seen much of that on the porn he’d watched so he felt even more underprepared for whatever might be happening. “I thought it was basically…ummm…y’know…” he waved a restless hand while hoping he didn’t die from embarrassment as he watched Jensen’s eyebrow lift curiously. “Damn, I’m stupid. I can’t even say…”

“No, you’re not stupid,” Jensen smiled, kissing his lips until the pout was replaced with a small smile as Jared relaxed again. “You’re gorgeous. You’re also nervous and it’s okay to be scared, Jay. That’s why I’m going to take this as slow as I can and the fact that you asked me what I was prepping you for tells me you seriously watched the wrong kinds of porn.”

Jared was starting to agree with that but he trusted Jensen so he slowly willed his body to relax again, losing himself in watching his friend’s lean body slide down his while kissing and touching him slowly on the path down Jared’s chest and stomach until he got to the waistband of his sweatpants and paused. “Jensen?”

Jensen lifted his eyes to offer a slow smile before started to ease them down Jared’s legs. Once they were dropped on the floor, he flipped open the button on his own jeans and undid the zipper to offer some relief to the pressure on his very hard, very unhappy cock as it had gotten interested in what he was doing with Jared but knew if he lost his jeans that this would be over too fast.

“I’m not stopping, Jay. I’m just looking and kicking myself for not telling you a couple years earlier how I felt,” he knelt back on the bed to slide up Jared’s body, letting him adjust to the feel of his weight while still keeping most of it on his arms until arms wrapped around to bring him fully down, his one knee slipping between spread legs and letting it rub teasingly over the boxer briefs Jared still wore and felt a moan as well as the dampness on them from his leaking cock. “I need to know how much farther you want to go tonight because if those briefs or my jeans come off there’s only a fine line to the point of no return so…mmhm,” he moaned into the hot but still a little hesitant kiss that Jared offered to say he was okay with continuing. “Okay then.”

Jensen slid off to reach into a drawer of the nightstand to do a little digging until he found what he was looking for. Once he had he reached the waistband of Jared’s briefs to slowly pull them down long legs and then had to catch his breath as he took his first full look of Jared’s long body and was glad he’d left his jeans on, praying he still didn’t come like a horny teenager.

“Damn,” he breathed but was quick to catch Jared’s hands when he automatically went to cover himself. “No, let me look, Jay. It’s okay. You are gorgeous, babe. I don’t want you to ever be afraid to let me see you.”

Jared knew it was stupid to blush but something in Jensen’s huskier tone, the way his eyes slid over his body as he stretched out beside him on the bed to kiss him again was almost too intense. He’d never saw himself like others did and never had since he was in high school.

He’d never been looked at like Jensen was now by anyone so it was a little overwhelming. Jared knew there’d be pain; he knew he didn’t know as much as his friend did about this stuff so he feared making a mistake and screwing up what he hoped was being built between them.

It was also a little odd to be naked with Jensen but was soon distracted from his embarrassment by Jensen’s teasing kisses, skimming touches and soothing whispers. Jared felt his body arch up at the first touch of those fingers ghosting down his already hard and weeping cock. “Jen!”

“Gorgeous and so damn sensitive,” Jensen chuckled but pulled his hand back to give Jared time to calm down a little before pushing up to his knees and asking him to roll over to his stomach but was quick to pull the younger man up to his knees a little. “No rubbing off either,” he said while slipping some pillows under to make Jared a bit more comfortable and loving the little bitch face he was shot. “I guess we know who Sam got that look from now.”

“Or maybe I borrowed it from him,” Jared was fighting the need to find some relief for his hard and dripping cock but went still when a hand touched his hip. “Jensen?” he glanced back over his shoulder, nervousness in his eyes. “I’m not backing out. I swear but…how much is this going to hurt?”

Jensen had reached for the tube he’d removed from the nightstand while brushing his lips over Jared’s shoulder when he heard his tone drop and recognized his worry. “If I can manage to do this without coming in my jeans, I’m hoping you’ll only feel a little burn and some tightness but since this is your first time with a me or any guy it might hurt a little but if it’s too much tell me and we’ll stop.” he was quick to say and knew he would if Jared needed to.

Propping his head on his folded arms, Jared held the steady eyes a second before nodding. “Okay. I’m…I’m ready,” he said but then his bitch face level went up as Jensen’s lips curved more. “What?”

“Jay, you are so far from ready for me but just relax, enjoy this part and I promise you will be soon.” Jensen didn’t take offense to the looks Jared shot him. He knew his friend had no clue what he was doing or what was right so he took his time to show Jared the tube in his hand and explained what it was and what he was about to do. The next look he got was pure gold as far as Jensen was concerned.

“Your fingers are going to do be doing what?” Jared asked once he got his voice back, almost certain Jensen was playing with him until he watched him dribble some of the lube onto his fingers as well as along the crease of his ass and then felt a single fingertip begin to slowly, carefully touch him before finding the tight, puckered hole and knew right then that there was no way in hell he was making it through this without coming or panicking. He’d only had his own fingers back there a few times so this was beyond weird for him.

“Shhh, just relax. You know it’s just me and you know I won’t do anything to hurt you.” Jensen’s voice was deeper, huskier than normal as it fought his body’s desire to take and claim but the first time he let his fingertip slip past the rim to feel how tight Jared was he was silently asking for strength and patience to give his friend what he needed from him now. “This’ll feel weird and it might hurt at first but I swear it’ll stop and I’ll go as slow as you need me to,” he rubbed gentle circles on a tense hip until he felt Jared begin to relax again. “You want to stop and just go back to fooling around until we talk more?”

Jared almost did until he felt the tightness in his ass, the odd burning sensation slowly start to back off as Jensen’s fingertip began to just gently rub in slow circles until it seemed like his body actually started to accept the finger. Then he blinked a bit to shake his head, wanting to try a bit more as Jensen leaned up some to kiss him again.

The kiss seemed to help to distract him from what was going on behind him as Jared realized he should’ve done a lot more porn watching. He felt Jensen’s tongue slip past his lips to explore and play and slowly got lost in returning the kisses. He was so distracted by the heating kisses that he missed when a single finger slowly began to slip in and out without issue and then gasped only when he felt the added second finger begin to scissor him open. “Fuck,” he groaned against Jensen’s lips and heard a chuckle.

“Soon, babe,” Jensen assured him while working to keep Jared distracted as he tried to stretch him so there’d be very little pain this first time. He was also fighting his own discomfort as his cock was now on the side of pain from being trapped inside his clothes. “Just relax for me, Jared. You’ll feel good soon.”

“Better than this?” Jared blinked his eyes back open after they’d closed on the first feel of pleasure skimming over his nerves as Jensen’s two fingers brushed over his inner muscles. Before he could ask the other question that was on his brain he felt something ignite inside him and nearly bolted off the bed at the unexpected surge of pleasure. “Jensen? What the…?” he gasped as it happened again and suddenly realized whatever Jensen’s now three fingers were doing up inside him had managed to hit the spot he’d heard was that but had never managed to find with his own fingers or the few times he’d tried a toy. “Oh my God.”

Jensen had been starting to worry Jared might not be enjoying this. He knew prep was hard on him and he also knew the first time it would be a little painful for Jared until his body started to accept his touch. The moment he touched Jared’s prostate and felt him jerk he almost pulled out, refusing to hurt his friend but then Jared’s hips arched back as if seeking more of his fingers and his lips curved. “Oh, my cock in this ass will feel a lot better than my fingers, Jared,” he promised him and just hoped he didn’t come the second the cock in question felt the tight heat that was waiting for it. “Does that feel good?” he asked while running his lips over Jared’s neck before locking his lips over the skin at the base of Jared’s neck to begin sucking it until he knew there’d be a mark later on.

Jensen could count the times on one hand that he’d let himself kiss deep enough to mark despite being urged to but he’d always held back…until this moment with Jared. This time, with this man, he wanted to leave a mark whether for his own sake or Jared’s but it was almost something primal inside him that wanted to mark Jared as his and no one else’s.

“Mine,” he whispered against Jared’s ear, tongue sliding over the shell and feeling Jared shiver but it was the moan of pleasure that told Jensen he needed to hurry this up before just prepping Jared killed him.

The possessive tone shot right to Jared’s hard, dripping and aching cock. He groaned and moved back, needing more, wanting more and not caring if it did hurt. “Then make me yours…now!” he muttered through clenched teeth while fighting the need to come without even touching his cock. “Jensen, please…need to come but…I don’t want to yet. I’m stretched enough.”

Jensen wasn’t sure but he also knew he was at the max of his patience as well so he withdrew his fingers, heard Jared mutter a soft ‘finally’ and had to laugh. “Remind to tell you how bossy you are later,” he kissed over Jared’s neck before slipping off the bed only long enough to get rid of his jeans and briefs with a sigh of relief. “This might still feel tight at the start,” he warned while slicking his already slick cock up more before kneeling behind Jared and still caught the tension in broad shoulders. “Okay?”

“Jen, I love you…but if you don’t stick that thing in my ass in the next five seconds I’m letting Harley chew up your good boots,” it didn’t dawn on Jared how desperate he sounded when he tossed out that threat or that maybe as the bottom he shouldn’t be so bossy. He just knew he was so close to coming and wanted to feel Jensen soon.

He felt warm lips brush his cheek as Jensen’s low sinful laugh was heard in his ear. “Love you, Jay,” he murmured and then began the slow process of actually easing his very ready, thick, and long cock past the stretched rim of Jared’s ass; biting back a groan of something mixed between pleasure and frustration at how tight Jared still felt. “Damn…don’t move yet, Jared. Fuck! You’re still too tight for me to…Jared!”

Jared had felt pressure and pain as the thick cock eased past his rim. He’d tensed briefly and knew the second when Jensen felt it because he felt him start to pull back out in fear of hurting him. His reaction was instinctive if not the smartest as he shot a hand back to try to grab for Jensen while his hips thrust back in the hope of helping his friend do what he thought needed done only to feel the pain shoot through his body.

“Jay!” Jensen was moving the moment he realized what Jared was about to do. He didn’t have time to pull out, felt Jared’s still tight muscles clenching around him when his friend shoved back too fast to try to take more of his cock than his body was ready for at the moment.

He wrapped one arm tight around Jared’s chest as he leaned forward so his chest was pressed to Jared’s back while keep most of his weight on his other arm while talking to the younger man. “Shhh, it’s okay, babe. I know it hurts, you moved too soon. I’ll pull out as soon as you relax because if I do it now it’ll hurt more and…Jared?” he tried to catch a glimpse of Jared’s eyes when his lips tasted salty tears as he kissed his cheek while waiting for them both to settle. “Jay? How bad’s it hurting? Tell me and I’ll…huh?”

“Don’t…let go,” Jared’s voice was tight as he tried to speak but he was still fighting the burning pain in his ass. He heard Jensen’s angst and knew he was blaming himself. But Jared knew his pain was his own damn fault for being impatient and now as he stayed still, let his body adjust to Jensen’s cock that hadn’t moved in several tense moments he could feel the burning pain subsiding and something else easing into its place. “It’s…whoa,” he whispered as he felt Jensen more now that he was calming down. “Move a little?” he asked but felt his friend’s worry. “Jen, I’m…good. Can…you move a little to…Oh!”

Jensen’s body was on fire. It wanted to claim, to take but he was still in control enough to hold back; refusing to allow Jared to be in more pain than this had already caused him. He hesitated on moving until he caught Jared’s slight nod and then gave a slight roll of his hips to move up a little more. He watched Jared’s face as best as he could and didn’t see agony or fear when he cried out this time. He saw pleasure and just a little awe that he was feeling pleasure.

“Just hang on a couple more seconds,” he urged and then slowly pulled back to retake control by giving slow but gentle rolling thrusts until finally he felt himself go flush with Jared’s ass and wasn’t sure which one of them groaned more at the feeling. “Jay…I wanted to give you more…a longer time but…I’m not sure how long I’ll last this time. I’m so sorry…”

“Longer? More? Dude, I’m ready to implode now. I want to come with you, Jensen.” Jared was long past his line of endurance. His cock was red, angry and now leaking a steady stream of precome. “Please…I want to feel you come first,” he tried to look over his shoulder only to gasp when the arm that had been wrapped around his chest suddenly pulled him back so he was on his knees. “Oh my God!”

The new position put Jensen’s cock right up against Jared’s prostate so when either of them moved now it was instant electric pleasure shooting through the younger man’s body as he found a way to move to match Jensen’s gentle thrusting motion. He moved a hand back to try to catch Jensen’s hair only to grumble sourly when he discovered the too short hair made it nearly impossible to get a hold of.

“There’s a reason Dean keeps his hair so short, Jay,” Jensen teased with a laugh, kissing Jared’s neck before returning the gesture by using Jared’s longer hair to give his hair a tug back to expose his neck to his teeth could graze over it and heard the moan that escaped Jared. “Now…Sam’s hair on the other hand could really come in useful it seems. God, I love to hear you like this, Jay,” he bit down on Jared’s collarbone with just enough force to mark but not break skin as he growled against the skin. “Mine, Jay.”

“Yours,” Jared had no trouble agreeing to that as he turned his head to the side to meet and match Jensen’s next kiss to feel it was hot, passionate and more demanding than others had been but felt no fear from Jensen. He knew he was safe and would learn to give his lover what he could as this new side of their friendship grew. “Always?”

“Always,” Jensen returned while licking over Jared’s well kissed lips, feeling their thrusts getting faster, more intense and could tell by Jared’s body that he was at the end of his rope and so was he so he moved his other hand down to close over Jared’s cock and began to long smooth stroking. “I promise next time will be better but I’m so proud of you for how well you did for me, Jared,” he kissed him deeply and heard a whimper of need. “Come for me, Jay. Come for me now.”

Jared wasn’t sure if it was because his body was so strung out with a need he’d never felt before or the slight command in Jensen’s tone, a tone that was just a hint more Dean Winchester right at the end, he came even before the words were finished being said.

His body was been tight with need for a long time so when Jared came the climax hit him hard and fast. He heard himself shout Jensen’s name even while he felt Jensen’s body give a jerk and felt something warm and knew Jensen’s own orgasm had just hit.

The feel of Jensen’s come filling him along with the man’s fingers continuing to stroke his cock while kissing over his face, his lips, his neck…anywhere Jensen’s lips could reach right then while he also tried to talk Jared through one of the strongest climaxes of his life made his own orgasm that much more intense.

Jared turned his face to catch and meet Jensen’s kiss and groaned into it as it wasn’t the hot, heated one he expected. This kiss was slower again, soft and almost sweet as he felt his body rocking with Jensen’s as they both worked through their mutual orgasms.

“That’s it, Jay. Just relax now. I’ve got you.” Jensen murmured while struggling now to keep his hand moving on the slowly softening cock and also to make sure his own cock hit that spot inside Jared as he tried to work through his climax while also helping Jared get the most out of his.

Jensen heard a whimper that was more pain now and knew to ease his hand away from Jared’s too sensitive to touch cock. He was giving another roll of his hips when he caught a smile on Jared’s relaxed face but just as he was about to make a comment Jensen caught a flash a white a second before Jared’s body went limp and he had to act fast to support both of their weight or fall backwards on the bed.

The older man knew a moment of panic as he worried something was wrong but as he finally was able to shift Jared a bit in his arms, lowering them both to the bed but not letting go yet Jensen saw the peaceful, blissful expression on Jared’s sweat soaked face and realized the force of the climax had just knocked him out for a little bit; feeling his own body relaxing now that he was positive he hadn’t broken his…

“Boyfriend.” Jensen whispered the word to himself before saying it out loud and realized for the first time ever that he actually liked how that word sounded when he put it with Jared.

He gave his hips another gentle thrust before going still to press his lips to the back of Jared’s neck to smooth over the line of hickeys he could see forming. “I love you Jared,” he whispered before letting his body cool a moment before carefully, gently easing out to hear a soft unhappy whimper as if Jared felt and didn’t like the sudden disconnection that Jensen had also felt but he was quick to soothe the sleeping younger man as he grabbed a wet cloth to wipe them both down free of come and sweat before slipping Jared back into his sweats and grabbing a pair for himself.

“I’m here, Jay,” he murmured as he slipped into bed to smile softly as Jared turned sleepily into him with long arms and legs trying to wrap around Jensen and he decided the snuggling after sex rule both he and his character tried to make was about to be discarded since there was no way he’d ever deny Jared this time.

Jensen found he enjoyed holding Jared as he laid his head against the curve of Jensen’s neck and shoulder. “Jared?” he heard a soft mumble as he carded his fingers back through Jared’s hair until he saw a glimpse of hazel when sleep heavy, sexed out eyes finally opened to try to find him. “Hey there. You worried me for a second. I thought I broke you.”

“Hmm, nope,” Jared snuggled closer without even a casual concern that perhaps Jensen didn’t so the after-sex cuddling thing. “Enjoyed that,” he mumbled, brain still sexed out and fuzzy but heard Jensen’s low deep laughter a second before he felt his lips brush over his hair. “Was it…I mean…did I…crap.”

“You did perfect and yeah, it was all good,” Jensen had heard the start of concern and wanted that stopped before it got out of hand, tipping Jared’s chin up to meet his eyes; pad of his thumb brushing down his cheek and loving the shy smile he got when he did that. “So…think you’ll be up to doing that again sometime?” he teased, laughing when Jared suddenly moved up to kiss him.

“Yeah!” he replied with a smile. He was still sleepy and worn out so Jared didn’t think he’d be any good for a while but as Jensen shifted so his arms were around him more he didn’t think the man had meant immediately. “Jen? You meant what you said about…longtime, right?”

Jensen kept his fingers moving through Jared’s hair as he looked down to watch him with a slow smile that was different than his usual tight smile. The one he gave Jared now was loving, soft and one they both seemed to know was only for Jared.

“Yeah, I meant when I said I loved you and that I want us, this to be long term, Jared,” he replied while understanding it would mean some changes as well as some adjustments on set but Jensen planned to have all of that settled by the time they needed to be on set. “I love you and until you decide differently…I also meant what I said while we were making love too.”

Jared’s sleepy, still dazed mind had to think and this his dimples popped out; resting his head over Jensen’s heart to listen to it beat. “Yours, Jensen,” he said while fighting to stay awake one more moment. “I’m glad you came home early.”

“So am I, Jay,” Jensen smiled and watched as Jared fell to sleep. He knew his friend would still have a headache but he figured they had all summer to see what other new discoveries they could make about one another and let himself drift off with dreams and plans of things to come for them and their characters.

**The End**


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